Do you know the song? If you don't, see it below. It's terrible! This is one of the songs that was sung at one of the last church services we attended before going onto the mission field. I cried. "This, these so hard things, this is what we have to look forward to. This is what God is calling us to." And I often struggle with bitterness in my heart thinking of this song with people always merrily singing it, while surely thinking, "Sure glad it's not me going! Glad it's you!" Or, "Yup, that's why I'm not going!" I mean, really, if one wanted to get more people to GO to the mission field, why not write a song that tugs on your heart strings and makes people feel all warm and fuzzy?
Upon reflecting on our last 3.5 years of ministry on the foreign field, it is bittersweet. There were many ups and downs and difficulties and joys, many about which we did not write, because we either didn't have time, or we didn't know how to even articulate things. Above all, I can say, "Wow, look at what God did!" I know it wasn't me by a longshot. I just had a willing heart and willing feet. But just about every minute, I had to cry to God to help me force my mind to make me go, the willingness following later, as I would get ready to leave my house to be with the people, to listen, to learn, to just be with them, so someday we can hopefully share with them God's Word and His Salvation in their own language which they understand best.
I have been contemplating writing about this song and my hatred for it for a long time. Sometimes my husband sings or plays a line or two just to get under my skin. (He likes to tease me.) And what better time, than now, upon finishing our first term of ministry on the village and right before going on furlough? Then you will be warned before we come to your church as to what singing this hymn in my presence does to me.
Please, don't sing this song when we are at your church. Well, you can, but please give me a box of tissues first, and hold me as everyone sings it (because I sure won't be able to sing it) and give me your shoulder to cry on, all the while thinking to yourself, "Should I be GOING to the ends of the earth myself?" And then the music will stop, and I'll stop feeling sorry for myself, and I will try to remember that the hidden message in the song is not about all the things we are missing out on like it appears to be. Rather, it is about knowing God in a deeper way, and it is helping others to know Him. What could be greater?
So, the next time you hear or sing this song (if it is even played or sung in churches anymore today), think about how awful it is, and then how it really is not. The comforts of this life and its pleasures have such a hold on us. It is a good song that remind us of what is really important. (But... I still hate it... But maybe less.)
(Hey!!!! Upon further research, trying to find the words of the song so I could put it below, I was happy to discover that there is a little known second version, where the author rewrote the hymn to tell the joys of being sent instead of all the woes! Unfortunately, as the article states, the first version had already made its way into hymnbooks, and that's the terrible hymn we're stuck with. I LIKE THE SECOND VERSION SO MUCH BETTER!!!! This one still makes me feel like crying, but with a better feeling inside. This one, please do sing in your church while we are there.
For the better version see the end of the article at this link:
https://www.propempo.com/post/the-story-behind-so-send-i-you-by-margaret-clarkson/ )
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The original "So Send I You"--
So send I you to labour unrewarded
To serve unpaid, unloved, unsought, unknown
To bear rebuke, ot suffer scorn and scoffing
So send I you to toil for Me alone
So send I you to bind the bruised and broken
Over wandering souls to work, to weep, to wake
To bear the burdens of a world a-weary
So send I you to suffer for My sake
So send I you to loneliness and longing
With hart a-hungering for the loved and known
Forsaking kin and kindred, friend and dear one
So send I you to know My love alone
So send I you to leave your life's ambition
To die to dear desire, self-will resign
To labour long, and love where men revile you
So send I you to lose your life in Mine
So send I you to hearts made hard by hatred
To eyes made blind because they will not see
To spend, though it be blood to spend and spare not
So send I you to taste of Calvary
"As the Father hath sent me, so send I you"
(From: https://www.hymnlyrics.org/newlyrics_s/so_send_i_you.php)
(Tissue anyone?)