enough excuses not to go...
Ever since I was little I was always intrigued by missionary stories. My heart leapt when I heard of people hearing and believing the gospel. It especially touched me when I heard of people who had never heard the gospel before, hear it and put their faith in Christ for salvation! I heard some of these missionary stories at our church’s AWANA program. As I grew older, I read many missionary biographies and autobiographies. I always thought I might want to be a missionary, but I wasn't sure. I was always too afraid. ME, Go to a different people and a different land?
My husband, Brian, was an MK (missionary kid), who grew up in Brazil. I was an OK (ordinary kid), who grew up in southern Michigan. My family lived on the outskirts of the town of Jackson, Michigan until I was nine, then we moved to a little farm near Hillsdale, Michigan. I grew up going to church with my parents teaching me about God and the Bible. I was always interested in missions, but wasn't sure I had what it took to be a missionary.
After graduating from High School, I went to Jackson Community College for Elementary Education thinking I would transfer for a bachelor’s degree in teaching. However, by the time I graduated I decided I didn't like that field enough to be a teacher. I worked for a while, continuing in my desire to know God more and wanting others to know Him.
In 2007, my parents and I decided it might be good for me to go on a mission trip to see what missions life is like, day in and day out. I hoped this would confirm that I either should or should not be a missionary. Our missionary friends, the Jones' (name changed), in Brazil had mentioned when I was 17, that I should come visit them someday. At the time I thought, “Yeah, right, like I’ll ever do that!” Well, it seems like whenever I say that it ends up happening. In 2007, I found myself on a plane headed to Brazil--the first time I’d ever flown alone, much less to a different country! I spent three months with the Jones' in Brazil. They lived in Belem, a city about the size of Chicago in northern Brazil near the mouth of the Amazon River. During the weekdays, I helped as a teacher’s aide in the 1st-2nd grade combined class at AVA (Amazon Valley Academy) where the Jones' 2 youngest were attending High School. AVA was an English-speaking Christian school attended by many missionary kids and richer Brazilian kids whose parents wanted them to learn English. On many weekends, I went with the Jones' to the little town of Salvaterra on the island of Marajo. Ilha de Marajo is comparable to the size of Switzerland and is the largest island in the world completely surrounded by freshwater. It was a three hour ferry boat trip to the island from Belem (and when I say ferry boat, it’s not what you think. It was more like a fast barge with lots of benches). The Jones' would go to Salvaterra on many weekends to fill in as pastor in a Baptist church there while the church looked for a permanent pastor. These weekends were when I was mostly surrounded by Portuguese since the people did not know much English, and the Jones' spoke to them in Portuguese. I realized how much language connects or disconnects people! By the time I left Brazil, I did grow to understand Portuguese a little bit. Before I left, the Jones' said maybe I would come back as a missionary to Brazil with a spouse someday. I thought, “Yeah, right!” Well, guess where I want to go and what I want to do?
After getting back to the U.S., I decided I did not want to go through the difficulty of being in a different country with a different language and culture. I would serve the Lord in whatever ways I could in the U.S.
So, I went back to work for another year. I grew in my discontentment though, feeling like I should DO something with my life. I did not want to clean houses for the rest of my life! I really wanted to do some more serious Bible studying, so I decided to go to New Tribes Bible Institute back in my old hometown, Jackson. Guess who the teachers were? Many were veteran missionaries who have been on the mission field! I got my two favorite things at New Tribes Bible Institute--Bible and missions! I loved the missionaries’ stories, and missions still tugged at my heart, but I still did not feel ready to GO. I was still afraid to be brave and go out of my comfort zone to the point of going to a different country and language, especially as a single lady!
Guess what I did? I went back home and worked for another year back at the same job. God would not leave my heart alone. In the back of my mind I kept thinking about missions. I kept thinking about the thousands of people groups who do not even have the Word of God in their own language. I remember driving home one day from somewhere thinking, “Why do I keep thinking maybe I will be a missionary SOMEDAY? Why not just go NOW?” I was not excited about being a single missionary. I felt like Moses in Exodus 4 who had all sorts of excuses telling God why He should not send him to lead His people out of Egypt. He finally tells God, “Please send someone else.” But I didn't want to be like Moses and tell God to send someone else. Hardly anyone else is going to reach hard-to-reach people with the gospel. If I am willing to go even though I’m afraid, I might as well go, because who else is going? I knew deep down, that being single and being afraid were not good enough excuses not to go. I knew if I did not go, I would regret it for the rest of my life. (And you know, I keep finding how exciting it is to see what God does when we follow Him in the midst of our fear and trembling!)
I talked with my parents and my church leaders about my desire to go into missions. I decided to go with New Tribes Mission, because they had the most opportunities for single women, and I like how they teach people about God by starting in Genesis and teaching key stories in the Old Testament pointing to God’s plan of redemption, and finally culminating in the New Testament with Christ’s death and resurrection for our sins.
So, in the fall of 2011, I started missionary training at the New Tribes Missionary Training Center in Missouri. Many times, even up to the end of my training (and still today), I've wondered what I've gotten myself into, because going to the ends of the earth to share the gospel is the hardest thing I will ever do. But one day, I felt like the Lord was telling me, “That’s right, you can’t do it! The only way you can do it is through Me!” I like all the stories in the Bible where God uses weak people to accomplish His work. I think He likes doing that. I guess I am a perfect candidate.
I did want to get married. Shortly after school started, I prayed to the Lord and told Him that if He wanted me to be married would He please hurry up? Brian and I had met at the Missionary Training Center almost as soon as school started. Just two weeks after I prayed that prayer, Brian talked to me to see if I would pray about being intentional friends. Well, the rest is history!
It works out nicely that Brian wanted to go back to Brazil, and I wanted to go to Papua New Guinea or Brazil, because those were the places I was most familiar with. I decided I liked the option of going to Brazil best. It had perks--the best one...getting to be with Brian!